just my type

on having two

From Misti:

My question: You've probably answered this before, but how did you choose Vivi's name?  I love it!

Okay, this could get long because I love talking names. :)  We had kind of a hard time choosing a girl name.  One thing we had going for us was that Max seemed to go well if either we wanted to go for a more old-fashioned name or a more modern name for a sibling - I am picky about how names sound together.  I realized that I liked girl names that were from the early 1900s... Hazel, Ivy, Nora, Grace... all names which my husband did NOT approve of (although, if you ask me, 'Vivi' and 'Ivy' are pretty dang similar... but whatever).  Vivian fit into that group and was also Tom's grandma's name.  He was willing to go along with that so we had a winner.  Vivi's middle name, Josephine, is after my Grandma.  I believe the actual Finnish spelling of her name was Tyyne Josephiina, but both she and my grandpa (Carl Olaf) went by their middle names - they were Jo and Ole. :)  And, my middle name is Jo.  She could have been Vivian Jo but we thought the longer version sounded better.  'Vivi' is just a nickname, more so to me than Max is (his full name, Maxwell, we never really intended to use).  I'm not sure if we'll continue to use it when she gets older... well, we probably will, but she may not.

(The original Vivian Berrisford along with Tom's grandpa, who was also Thomas.  Did I mention I love old photographs too?  Also, slight family resemblance between Tom and his grandpa, ya think?) 

I love when names have a story behind them - Max, well, we just liked it.  But I think family names are great - it's nice to name after someone, I think.  I never knew Tom's grandma but it's a good way to honor his family.  He also had great-grandmas named Caroline and Stella, both of which are becoming popular names again.  We decided not to go with naming our daughter after Tom's other grandma and my great-grandma: Hilda Milda. :) 

More than you ever wanted to know, huh? 

From Anne:

If Vivi had been a boy, what would you have named him?

We didn't go into thinking about a boy name very much since we knew all along we'd probably find out what we were having.  But, early on in my pregnancy I liked the name Eli.  I thought Max and Eli sounded cute.  Probably Eli Thomas.  Tom decided later on that he didn't like it, so I'm sure it would have gotten axed, but I did find a Valentine's Day card a couple weeks ago from Tom that said 'I can't wait to have little Eli roaming the floors soon.'  Weird. :)

From Ellie:

How do you like being a mother of two?

It's awesome, I love it and feel like Vivi fits in perfectly.  I'm so excited to be able to watch another little one grow and see her personality develop.  I never wanted to have an only child so I feel like she has rounded us out and made us a true family. 

From Lib:

what is the hardest part about having 2 kids (can you tell i'm SCARED)?

Hmm.  Well, right now, I would say just being more busy and those times now and then when I feel like I'm not doing enough for ANYONE - when I'm playing with Max and Vivi starts crying so I have to stop, or I'm making lunch for Max and Vivi is actually awake and could use some attention but just has to sit there... sometimes it's chaos, but hey, it's only two, people have more, right? :)  I would think that as they get older, seeing them not getting along would be hard.

From Katie:

My question for you is what has been you favorite "big brother" moment by Max thus far??

He's had so many sweet moments that I LOVE.  Just now when we were singing songs before naptime, Vivi was laying between us in his bed and he was stroking her hair. :)  But, the one I'll probably always remember is the day we came home from the hospital.  Max was kind of freaked out about visiting us the whole time we were there and never wanted to hold her, so when we got home we didn't push her on him and just let him play in the living room while we sat with her on the couch.  Eventually he came over and asked if he could hold her.  We sat him on the couch and put her in his arms, and then we looked at them together and tried not to cry.  Tom probably succeeded, me not so much. :)  

From LeeAnn:

Are there any more kids in the plans for you two? ( I know, kinda soon to be asking. LOL!)

I feel like we're all here now.  And I like that they don't outnumber us. :)

aaaand: christmas!

I'm in the Christmas spirit today!  It started at about about four this morning when I was up feeding Vivi and started looking at the sales on my iPhone.  I found a super cute Christmas dress for her and almost went downstairs and started shopping but then I restrained myself and went back to bed.  This morning I managed to get in a few quick online orders and I already feel pretty good about our list.  I have to get a few more things for the kids that I'll just browse around for, and need to finish our parents.  But otherwise I'm close to done already... the big stuff is finished, the biggest being Max's gift from Santa, which is a train set.

Later this morning Max and I made one of those construction paper garland things, so we can take a link off every day and count down to Christmas.  I'm not sure he really gets it yet.  Over lunch I tried to explain that he could tell Santa what he wanted for Christmas.  I asked him what he would tell Santa and he said something about baseball.  To which I said, 'Max!  How about a TRAIN?  Would you like a TRAIN from Santa?' and then he started saying he wanted a train... that was a close call. :)  Note to self: wait to buy the gift next year until AFTER he tells Santa what he wants.  Then he asked me if Santa would throw his other train in the garbage (he has a big toddler-sized train that plays music).  I had to reassure him that no, Santa would not be taking his old toys away.

Then this evening we went on the Polar Express with Grandma and Grandpa B and Anne, Pat and Ryan.  We got on the train which is all lit up with Christmas lights, went a short way to the railroad museum, and then got off and went inside for a live reading of the story.  Afterwards all the kids got to visit Santa, but of course Max didn't want to.  On top of being far too shy he was way more interested in the trains.  We got back on the train and it dropped us back at Fitger's where they have hot cocoa and cookies and a bonfire.  It was a fun start to the Christmas season. :)

I started working on our Christmas card, and I'm thinking maybe this weekend I'll start getting some of our decorations out... not sure when we'll get our tree but that will be awhile yet since we get a real one.  I'm so excited this year, I can't wait to start teaching Max all about Christmas and the fun traditions.  I realized today that we have one book about Baby Jesus being born, and that is pretty much it for Christmas books.  Does anyone have any favorite Christmas books for 2-year-olds?

Then tonight I found this on etsy... growing up we had an advent calendar really similar to this one and my sister and I used to take turns putting up the ornament each day.  It was always a fight over who got to put up the star, which was on Christmas Eve. :)  My mom and I were just talking about it a week or two ago, she still hangs up the old one and she and my dad put the ornaments up.  But it's seen better days and I was telling her I wish I could find one like it.  I'm so glad I came across this one and looking forward to putting the ornaments up with Max.

 

happy turkey day

We had a great Thanksgiving!  We went to Tom's parents' house and Anne, Pat, and Ryan were there too.  We had a wonderful dinner, watched Max and Ryan run around like two crazies (and NOT nap), played our annual game of Pictionary (Tom and I were defending champions but lost to Karen and Anne this year), and then ate again before heading home to get our two tired kids to bed.

The grandparents with their grandchildren... next year there will be four of them!

The boys digging into their pie, pecan for Max and pumpkin for Ryan...

and one of Vivi from this morning since I couldn't leave her out.

Very thankful this year for a beautiful baby girl, a sweet little boy, an amazing husband and a wonderful family.

Hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving!

close call

I ALMOST got into bed without posting. :)

Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

a little off the top

Yesterday morning Max and I were in the kitchen when I made a phone call.  He asked 'Mommy who was that?' and I told him I just made an appointment for Torii to get her hair cut.  I was writing the time down when he asked, 'Does Torii get a sucker?' so I was kind of distracted and told him yes... not really thinking about what I'd just said.  I'm sure he was thinking about the times he's gotten a haircut and if Torii would get the same sort of treat afterwards.

He thought about it really hard for a minute, then looked really confused and said 'Mommy, does Torii have hands?'

Poor Torii, no hands to hold her lollipop. :)

on being a working mom

Today's questions:

From Tara: You ready to come back to work yet? PLEASE?

From Leslie: Would you ever want to be a stay at home mama?

Short answer to both: Yes!

Long answer: Really the only thing I have to compare stay-at-home-mommyhood to are my maternity leaves.  After I had Max, I think I was pretty much ready to go back to work by the end.  Staying home with a newborn all day isn't exactly a thrill a minute, and although I knew I was going to miss my little guy, I was ready to have some adult interaction and ready to do work that for the most part, I enjoy.  So I cried the day I went back, but I knew he was in great hands which helped A LOT.  Eventually we got into our routine, and I would say I was happy with my decision to work about 90% of the time, which is about all I think I could hope for.  I'd go through stages now and then where I would be so sad that I wasn't at home, and then I'd have those days where I'd think I could never stay at home.  Especially around 18 months to about two years... old enough to start having tantrums but couldn't really have a conversation, old enough to want me to play with him but still wanting to do totally monotonous things... I thought that was a hard age and there were even weekend days that seemed VERY long, and it probably didn't help that it was during baseball season and the two of us were home alone a lot.  Of course it goes without saying that I love Max, I don't think I should even have to clarify that, but I think it also goes without saying: parenting is not always easy.  Duh.

This maternity leave has been totally different.  For one, like I've said before, I haven't experienced the baby blues at all this time.  But I think the main reason is that I have Max home with me as well as a new baby, and now at two and a half, he's become someone to hang out with rather than just someone I'm taking care of.  We can have full conversations and do fun stuff together, and it's awesome.  I do only have him home three days a week right now, because he still spends a day with Grandma and one with Mary, but I guess that wouldn't be much different than if he went to preschool during the week.  And with a newborn it's nice to have a little time to get things done around the house or nap if I need to (which, every morning I swear to myself that I'm going to, and then afternoon comes and I never do).  Anyway, for the first time, I feel like I really could stay at home and love THAT 90% of the time.  I think I'm going to be pretty sad when I go back.

But, I am going back to work.  I don't really like to say I HAVE to work, because there are a lot of changes I'm sure we could make if I wanted to stay home: we could move to a smaller house, downgrade our vehicles, shop secondhand, stop eating out, never travel, etc.  But for the lifestyle we choose to lead right now, I do have to work.  And of course it's a lot more than just choosing a lifestyle over staying home.  I like my job, it's mentally stimulating (usually :), I like my coworkers, it gives me time that is just for myself... it just works for me personally to be a working mom. 

However, I would like to stay home eventually.  In some ways I feel like staying home when my kids are older is even more important.  Of course, babies need their parents... but me being there might mean even more to them later on.  I know a lot of people would probably disagree with me on that, but I kind of want to do it differently than how I think most people do it - instead of going back to work when my kids start school, I want to work when my kids are very young and stay home when they're a bit older.  In a perfect world I'd be able to stay home by the time Max started kindergarten, so in about three years.  Who knows if we'll be able to make that happen - and if we'd even want to depends on a lot of factors, one of the biggest being where I'm at in my career - but that would be my ideal situation as I see it right now.  I'd like to be able to be there when they get home from school to help them with homework or talk about their day, to help out in their classrooms if needed, for them to be able to just stay at home all summer, for me to drive them to all their activities.  I think as our kids get involved in more and more things of their own, it would be so much easier if our family had one parent just staying home to manage our HOUSEHOLD - to cook, to clean, to do all of the things that just need to get done.  And I have no doubt that I could still do all that while working full-time - plenty of women do and do a fabulous job.  I just think I'd be a little less crazy. :)  And no, I don't think I'd get bored eventually if I were to stay home with both kids in school (which makes me wonder, would I then be a 'housewife' instead of a 'stay-at-home-mom'?).  I think there would be plenty to do, and I'm not even including America's Next Top Model marathons.  And if I was bored, I could always get a different job... like if I had enough people to hire me, I could always try to make a business out of photographing babies on weekday mornings.  Ugh, I'd totally hate that. :)

What about you... if you work or stay home now, are you planning on switching it up someday, and why?

max's new buddy

Last night Tom and I went out with all the other coaches and their wives to a dinner at Grizzly's... the whole restaurant is closed down right now and they are trying out new menu items, so they invited 'VIPs' to make reservations for dinner... we are not VIPs, but Corey is, so he invited us all. :)  We each got two drinks and dinner, and our table got three appetizers, all for free.  And Tom has been making fun of me ever since because I ordered mac & cheese... but it was good!

Anyway, we left the kids with a REAL babysitter.  Which we have never done before... usually when Tom and I want to go out Max stays with Tom's parents, or maybe mine if they're in town, and I think once or twice Corey and Carrie may have watched him.  A few weeks ago one of Tom's players emailed and said that his girlfriend would love to watch our kids if we ever needed a night out.  She nannies in the summer and is a nursing major so she seemed more than qualified, plus Brian is a great kid so we knew she would be nice (also: he writes songs about her and puts them on YouTube... how CUTE is that?).  So last night was our first trial run with Megan... we were kind of nervous about how Max would react but she came over an hour early to hang out and Max showed her around the house... by the time we left we just gave him hugs and headed out the door and he was totally cool with it.  We speculated on if she'd be able to get them both to bed by the time we got home (which was about 45 minutes past Max's usual bedtime), but figured that since I can barely get them both to bed alone at this point, the odds weren't in her favor.  And sure enough we got home and Max came running to the door... but things seemed to go well and she said that he was good and that yes, she would be willing to come back sometime. :)  And Max said today he had fun playing with her.  Yay!  It's nice to have another option available for when we want a night out.

In other news:

I think Max is getting a cold.  Great.  I'm about due to get sick since Vivi is almost two months old... once I read that when your baby is two months, you get sick because the lack of sleep, etc starts to wear on your immune system or something like that.  And sure enough, I got sick when Max was two months, and a lot of other moms I've talked to did as well.  Weird.

I tried taking a new family picture today, mostly for our living room because our picture is from when Max was one, but thinking we could also use it for a Christmas card if it turned out okay.  Not sure I got a good picture of all of us at once, but maybe I can splice the pictures together in Photoshop so at least we all look somewhat normal. :)

Today is day 10 of the 30 Day Shred and I'm totally trying to weasel my way out of it but I'm not sure Tom will let me... it's good to have him on my case, I guess, but I really just want to finish up Season 2 of Lost and be lazy.

I need to answer the rest of the awesome questions everyone left... only one more week of NaBloPoMo!  Yay!

go ahead, i dare you

Try not to smile!

XOXO,

Vivi :)

two and a half

Max turned two and a half this month and ever since Tom and I have had this email going back and forth between us that is titled 'things about Squirmy at 2.5 that we want to remember.'  Sometimes I forget that he's only two... he's tall, he speaks well and understands pretty much everything... but he can throw a killer tantrum to remind me. :)  Now that we have another baby I find myself wishing I had written down more about what Max did and when, so I'm just going to write everything I can think of in hopes that it will take me back to this time and I'll be able to remember his sweet little voice and that little bit of baby that's left in him right now.

He LOVES construction equipment.  They were working on Mary's road all summer and he got to watch the 'worker guys' on the job.  He knows all the names for everything and corrects us if we're wrong (me: 'Hey Max!  Look at the backhoe!' him (exasperated): 'Mommy, that's a SKID STEER.').  He loves to play with his excavators and bulldozers and all that stuff.  He has finally started to want to watch some TV and his favorite show right now is Bob the Builder.  He grabs his plastic wrench and runs around to all of our doors 'fixing' the doorknobs and says 'Max better fix that, Mommy.  Max is being a hard worker guy.'

He's still really into sports and can play baseball or golf for way longer than anyone else around wants to.  He says 'foul beezy fo sheezy' when he hits a foul ball.  He likes to kick the football and 'go deep'.  He plays hockey in the basement with us and I am rather impressed with his one-timer, although he likes to use the left-handed stick and shoot right-handed, not sure what that's about, maybe because it's blue.

He likes to make chocolate chip cookies with me (we do this about every 2-3 days... we eat a lot of cookies).  He especially likes at the end when i leave a tiny bit of dough on and let him lick the 'heater' (beater).  He likes to go to the grocery store and ride in the car cart that's a total pain to push around.  He also likes going to Target and the 'mountain' (fountain) at the mall. :)

He's so curious and doesn't miss anything.  He's always asking what road we're on, and he's learning to tell whether we're turning right or left.  He likes to repeat the name of the road we're on.  If we tell him we're on 26th Avenue East or something, he'll say 'that's kind of a hard one.'  If Tom and I are having our own conversation and laughing, he'll say 'what is Mommy and Daddy talking about?' or else just join in laughing for the heck of it.  If I do something he doesn't understand, he'll ask me 'what did Mommy just dood?'  I love the 'dood.'  He knows so many brands, obviously marketing pays at a very early age - he recognizes Target, McDonald's, Dairy Queen, etc, when he sees the logo somewhere else (not at the actual place).  If you ask him what's at Subway, he says 'five dollar foot long!' and knows that you can 'save big money at Menards!'  He saw Google on my iPhone and recognized that from our desktop computer.  And of course, he knows the Twins and Saints on anything. :)

He counts to 20 although he says fourteen twice in place of thirteen and fourteen. :)  He's starting to ask us what particular words mean on the pages of his books, pointing to each one.  He's known how to spell his name and recognize it for a long time, but now he's starting to recognize Mommy and Daddy and told me this week he drew a 'V' for Vivi.  Last night I was informed that T is for 'taxi' and I is for 'insects'.

He's been playing hide and seek with Tom in the evenings, usually while I'm feeding Vivi, and it's hilarious.  He comes and counts with me on the couch while Tom hides, and when we get to 20 he goes off to find him... Tom can pretty much hide in plain view and Max will walk right by him five times before he finds him.  Lots of times Tom has to 'peep' so that Max can follow his voice. :)  And then when it's Max's turn to hide he giggles like a maniac the entire time.  Last night Tom was walking around saying loudly 'HMMM, I wonder where Max is?!' and a little voice pipes up 'Max is under the table, Daddy!'  So that needs some work. :)

We've been leaving Vivi with Mary for a few hours on Wednesday mornings and going to swimming at the Y and then to storytime at the library.  He is doing so good at swimming and in just three weeks he's started to try it on his own with the float tied around his chest.  This week he was all 'don't touch Mommy!' every time I tried to support him.  It's so much fun to see him starting to get it.

This past week's tantrums included two very special ones when I was home alone with him, tonight's because my foot was on the couch.  I know, the nerve.  The other one was really incredible... he's been taking SO LONG to eat a meal lately, he just dawdles and plays with his food and it drives me insane.  This one night he had everything down except for two carrot sticks.  He kept shoving them in his mouth, taking them out, etc and he'd been sitting at the counter for an hour and fifteen freaking minutes so finally I grabbed the stupid carrots from him and threw them in the sink (because I knew if I would have thrown them in the trash he would have gone in after them).  Sure enough, he threw one of the biggest fits I've ever seen him throw.  When he finally came back to me (I feel like during his tantrums he's in some other world and I can't reach him :) he asked if we had more carrots and I said those were gone and he said in a very wobbly little voice 'go to the grocery store and buy more Mommy?'  And he was STILL asking me today if those carrots went down the drain.  Cripes.  Also this week I was making Chinese chicken and broccoli for dinner and I had to put my foot down with him on stealing the broccoli off my cutting board because I wasn't going to have enough to make the dang meal.  That goes into the category of things I never expected about parenting: Me NOT letting my kid eat veggies, and him throwing a tantrum over it.

He's doing really good in his new bedroom and full-size bed.  In the morning when he wakes up he says 'Mommy!  Daddy!  Sun is up!' which is always WAY too early but then I'm getting up with his sister anyway.  He gets to pick five books to read at bedtime.  His favorites right now are Where the Wild Things Are, The Wild Little Horse, the Llama Llama books, and Berenstein Bears books.  Then we turn out the light and sing songs - 'Baby Max', which is a tune my mom used to sing to me but using his name, and then Twinkle Twinkle, then Mary had a Little Lamb, then Take Me Out to the Ballgame, and then we finish with the Minnesota Twins song, which he claps along to. :)  And sometimes then he'll sing the ABC song or we'll sing Do-Re-Mi (which he knows every word to).  Then he says 'Mommy lay for a few minutes', so I lay next to him, then go sit on his toy box for a minute or two, then say good night and leave the room.  When I go say good night, I say 'Mommy will come check on you' and he says 'in ten minutes.'  I never go check; he's always asleep. :)

Quite often, he'll look at us out of nowhere and say 'Max loves Mommy and Daddy.'  Mommy and Daddy love you too, Buster.  So much. 

high school: because i only have an hour left

1. Did you date someone from your school? Yes, Jake.  We dated for 4.5 years.
2. What kind of car did you drive? Pontiac Sunfire
3. What was the most embarrassing moment of HS? Hmm... I don't know.  The time I fell in the mud at our homecoming game in front of our entire town?  That was more funny than embarrassing... 
4. Were you a party animal? Not unless you count wild times like renting movies from Amoco, doing puzzles, and dressing up like the Spice Girls.  
5. Were you considered a flirt? I don't think so.
6. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? Band!  I played the clarinet. :)  Loved it.
7. Were you a nerd? I very likely still am?!
8. Were you on any varsity teams? No.
9. Did you get suspended/expelled? No.
10. Can you still sing the fight song?  Of course!  I was a cheerleader... pretty sure I can still do the moves! :)
11. Who were your favorite teachers?  Mrs. Olson. Mr. Olson. Ms. Lauwagie. Mr. Hansen.     
12. Where did you sit during lunch? In the cafeteria.  With Greg, Tim, Dan, Travis, and Jake (unless Jake and I were fighting :)  I LOVED our food.  Still miss it sometimes.
13. School mascot? The Mariners.
14. Did you go to homecoming, and with who? Yes, dances were the best... I don't think we ever did dates, though.  I'm sure I just went with my boyfriend... or Libby! :)
15. If you could go back and do it again, would you? Sure, it was a pretty good time.  I'd rather do college again though, it was a lot less work...
16. What do you remember most about graduation? Mr. Hansen gave the address (he retired that year) and talked about every single one of us.
17. Where did you go senior skip day? I don't think we had that.
18. Were you in any clubs? NHS if that's a club... I think maybe I was in French Club?  Did I make that up?
19. Have you gained some weight since then? Um, yeah.  I seem to remember weighing like 118 lbs and thinking I was big... what?
20. Who was your prom date? Jereme sophomore year... Jake the next two years.
21. Are you planning on going to your 10 year reunion?  Well, I was!  Didn't quite make it there since Tom ended up in the hospital.
22. Looking back, what advice would you give yourself? Relax a little bit more and realize that some things don't matter.  Be more confident, don't stress over giving a report on Sri Lanka or something. :)  Also: enjoy being 118 lbs! :)